I have had the distinct honor and pleasure of having a dog almost my entire life and for those who don’t know what dog’s really are. They are ‘Infinite Givers’ and always let you know just how fun life really is.

Here lies a true tale of my last Canis Familiarity, a Yorkshire Terrier name ‘Niko’ a character in a Woody Allen movie, entitled, “Shadows and Fog” once said, “all life is but a dream inside the mind of a sleeping dog.”  You have no idea how true this is.  

Now I understand this may not be your truth, but it is mine and I always say the truth depends on two (2) very distinct things; one) who is telling it and two) who is hearing it.  

I was once a partner of a bar/lounge in a galaxy in Brooklyn far, far away.  One day I came to the bar and there was a cluster of gentleman standing right in the middle of the lounge.  Easily twenty (20) or more men.  As I made my way into the center of the throng, I find a woman, not just any woman but my fetish!  How long oh Lord, how long!  Do you know what a fetish is?  Or more apropos my fetish?

I plan to keep that a secret, but I will say this my fetish is the woman I know is no good for me, yet I go hard for her in spite of knowing she’s not good for me.  I immediately start grinning and do what the other gentleman where afraid to do.  I made my approach and it was an immediate success.  

We spoke on the phone and hung out a few times.  A month later and I wasn’t any further along than when I started and beginning to wonder what was wrong, but I knew what the issue was.  We had nothing in common beyond her being my fetish, until this next moment occurred.  

I called her one morning trying to see her and she didn’t sound well.  I asked her what was wrong, she said he had to put one of her dogs in the pound.  I asked if she had a photo of the chap and she did.  She sent me a picture of this dog and I stated I wanted the dog.  She thought I was pulling her leg and I wished I had gotten close enough to pull on her leg.  I really wanted to pull on her leg!  I know, I know!  I said I was serious, without even know if I could have a dog in my apartment.  
We scheduled an appointment for me to meet her at the pound.  She said we had to act fast because the dog had been in the pound for 30 hours and you have 72 hours to change your mind and go back and get the dog.  Yes, of course, let’s move with the utmost since of urgency.  One because I really did want the dog and two any chance I got to hear the fabric of her fiber when she moved was a good day in the neighborhood for me.  I’m happy to take small victories (LOL)!  

We get over to the Northshore Animal Shelter on Linden Blvd in Brooklyn, a wonderful place and we have got to care for these animals man!  It’s a part of our service and caretakers of the earth and the other life form on it.  The woman at the front is beaming with joy that we are coming possibly get the dog back.  So quickly back tracking, when you take an animal to the shelter you have 72 hours to change your mind as I stated earlier.  If you change your mind, you can retrieve the animal, no Q&A.  If after 72 hours you haven’t had a change of heart the animals goes into a lottery and people sign up for the dog.

The shelter goes on a first come first serve basis and begin to eliminate people who don’t qualify for whatever reason.  So the woman was happy to see my lady friend come back and the deal is my friend will get the dog back and then sign him over to see so I don’t have to be on a waiting list.  The woman asks me if I want to see the dog and of course I do.  We walk in the kennel and it is heart breaking.  I luv dogs and I wanted to take every last one of them home (SMH). There were a few ugly ones with the face only a mother could luv!  I know, I know!  

All the dogs are jumping up and down, wanted to be acknowledged, pet and touched.  We walk the full length of the kennel with this circus going on all the way down. He finally get the end and there he is. This little joker is sitting with his back to the public and facing a concrete wall, okay attitude!  Probably wondering what is a nice guy like me, doing in a place like this?  I get it, he’s pissed!  So dig this sight, three (3) human beings just standing there staring at this pissed off dog.  No words, staring.

The women were slightly befuddled, but I wasn’t, nope I knew that look.  This made me really want him even more, he was not going to kiss up, suck up to get out of this situation. He barely looked over his shoulder before turning his head back toward the wall. The ladies asked if I wanted to hold him or pet him, all the while I’m saying nothing, just staring at the back of this dog thinking to myself, “I want this dog.”  I say to the ladies, still staring him, “no, I don’t want to touch him until I know I’m going to be able to get him.”  No point in building up his hope, little did I realize how true that statement was until we went back to the front desk.  My friend asked if I was sure, I said no.  Let’s do the paperwork and I will deal with him when I get my hands on him.  

We head back to the front desk and I notice a list with his name on it and there it was a long list easily a hundred names of people who had seen him and wanted him, but they had to wait for the 72 hour period to conclude.  My visceral connection to him was accurate, he had been picked up, touched, pet and played with my people with children who had all fell in luv with him and yet he still remained locked up in a cage.  

The look he gave me when I was in that kennel was like, “you can’t be serious, this fool, He doesn’t even have cute kids with him!” He seem to size me up in seconds and he knew what I knew.  I was going to liberate him because after all, he created the milieu for me to get him out by placing in front of me a woman he knew I couldn’t resist…he was right.  

Two (2) days later, she brought the dog to my bar/lounge in Brooklyn.  She hands me the lead, he stares at her then at me and I could hear him thinking, “Okay, cool I’m with him then.”  I take the lead and I drop it to the ground and give him the message.  You don’t need to be lead by me, I know who you are to me and you know who I am to you. He and I coexisted like that, he was free to move through space and we both understood there were boundaries inside of this knowledge at that there are consequences if we violate these boundaries.  Now as for my ‘fetish’ she and I never saw each other again after the transaction.  This would be considered odd, if I didn’t understand the nature of my life so clearly.  Which will be explained after the next tale which just happened to me a few days ago.

This tale literally happened to me two (2) days ago, moments before waking from R.E.M. time.  I had a dream that I was with a woman, beautiful soul and there was some question about she and I getting together on a long term basis.  She say’s to me would you luv and care for me if I were to manifest in another form?  I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to respond to this in my dream or otherwise.  I believe I said something like, “yes I would.”  She leaves the bedroom and a tan Labrador enters the room, climbs up into the bed, places its arm or pawn or whatever the heck you want to call a dog’s arm across my shoulder and looks into my soul.  At first and even in my dream I said, “What the hell is going on here!”  The dog stared at me until I began to realize that she is possibly the dog.  I know, I know but I didn’t ask for this.  I’m relying what happened to me, so I’m holding the dog, Oh Lord, how long!  This is a very awkward tale I know, but there I am looking into the soul of this beast and I see this woman and the beast is looking into my soul.   And it’s a very into me you see (intimate) moment and my perverted mind is trying to figure out, “am I really going to have to doggy style this beast (LOL)!?”  

At that moment I fully awaken wondering what in the world the symbolism behind that number was. I share this story with the woman in question, she laughs and says check your text message. I check my text message and she sends me a picture of the exact dog in my dream. I swear, I can’t make this stuff up.  This is and always has been the very odd, eccentric nature of my existence here.

Lastly I never questioned or asked the universe what this was all about and I for the most part wouldn’t change my bizarre, eccentric, odd and slightly strange life.  The reason I wouldn’t change a thing is because of these two (2) tidbits, one “Cher Chez La femme” – everything no matter how great or small is in some way, shape, form or fashion connected to the woman.  I’m totally okay with this understanding and two I am merely a dream inside the mind of a sleeping dog.  

Fellas, I will tell you this much.  If you are lucky enough to find your “Cher Chez La femme” she will take care of you and you will want for nothing. The same holds true for a dog and the cliché’ that a dog is man’s best friend is otherworldly true.  

These infinite givers have but one drawback as far as I can tell.  They have some awful breath (LOL)!  Beyond that they are an extremely loyal bunch of fun luv’n creatures!

This is Joie de Vivre, slow motion for me and Holla back!