I am honestly surprised to discover that before my association with Going Natural, I always associated issues regarding hair and hairstyles to be more related to women than to men. As I learned from my last piece, men are just as involved with matters of the hair, and we are just as emotional about matters of the nappy head, we just feel we cannot verbalize it in any associative way. I am treading carefully here, but the problem begins with our mothers.

So much time was spent on my sister’s heads, and mom had her own routine, and when it came to me and my brother, we were encouraged by a snappy, “boy put some oil on your scalp and brush that hair.  Then she would commence to puff my sister’s braids to perfection, and spent hours on the phone with, Sister Wilson about many things, and hair was always part of the subject; I grew up believing that hair was a female domain. Trust me… I have never for one second felt left out, or neglected for hair care… while my sisters sat in front of mom under her hair twisting hands, perfectly happy that I got to go outside and play.

So when I started to write this article, it was all about those women who have chosen to transition to natural hair and the response from their co-workers.  I thought how great it would be if I could experience it for myself… like a fly on the wall. Then, I untangled the strands of my selective memory and realized that I had indeed experienced it for myself.  This was during the late 1990s. I worked for a large national corporation as a sales manager. Even though I was doing my corporate thing with guys that hung out at the prestigious racket clubs, and all the big city trappings of Seattle, Washington. No matter the requirement for sophistication on the job, I was just a regular guy from the East Side of Tacoma just as I am today. If corporate life is your thing, fine. I find it to be wearisome and artificial.

I took my daughter to see an Eddie Murphy movie, and he was rocking the tightest twist locs. I decided to drop the standard fade and grow into some twists. I grew a short afro anticipating the first day to start my twists. This was not a homemade job; I went to the best braid salon in the city and paid good money for my start. I remember that first time I walked into the office sporting my new twists, and you could sense the change of energy.  There were the standard comments about me having stuck my finger in an electric socket, and about a month later, a “coaching session by the branch manager (HR was present). He felt it was necessary to remind me that while the company had no specific guidelines for this type of “hair style”, it was expected that those in a leadership role were to set the example for our subordinates. The most disappointing comment came from a middle aged African American woman who came into my office and indiscreetly informed me that I was such a nice looking young man, why would I go and do that to myself.

As I think back on the whole situation, I was caught completely by surprise. My hair was neat and trim, my mustache and goatee were the same, and my work ethic had definitely remained the same, yet most of the people, including some of my own race were reactionary.  Why was this? I understood that those of European descent, were used to African Americans seeing them as the standard to assimilate. Certainly since the reconstruction period after the Civil War, African Americans tried to show in every way possible that they could act, walk, talk, and think on a par with European Americans. This included of course, the straightening of our hair, and even within our own culture, development of the ideas that the lighter the skin, the longer and looser the hair, the better the person.

Somehow, espousing ones natural attributes not always seen as a healthy dose of self love, self esteem, inner confidence, or simply a matter of personal taste. It is seen as rejection of the standard, revolutionary and anarchical. The first reaction is to subtly tell you that you are not as beautiful and that something is wrong with you. For most of us who have transitioned from the traditional to the natural, it is only what it is… independently choosing how we live our lives.

I have many women friends, and their choice of hairstyle was never a factor in developing their friendship. Although, I personally applaud every woman of African descent who adopts a natural style; the reason being that as a healthcare professional, I see the relaxing of the hair as an unhealthy choice. However, I am a more ardent defender of one’s personal right to make one’s own choices. Independent thinkers are always a threat to the status quo, or those who hold power. No matter how innocent or benign the pursuit. I am genuinely interested to know your experiences, and to know if it is still the same today.

 Photo by Mireile Liong